Sunday, November 14, 2010

[Weekly Whimsy] Brutal Beauty

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! You know, I had an alliterative intro, a serious article and all kinds of cool shenanigans up my sleeve until earlier today when a real-life situation alerted me to the necessity of some levity. I'll possibly throw down some crazy words you've never heard of in the midst of all my silly hijinx, so get a thesaurus just in case.Also, just to cover my self... the opinions herein are expressly mine, and HOP does not endorse them in any way.]

" Just like flying a cab" - Corbin Dallas, The Fifth Element

So all of the webbernetz is in a roar over the Stormraven. You know, this thing:

The general consensus of the masses is that the thing's a glorified garbage hauler- only uglier.

I say: Yer all crazy. It's flippin perfect.

I've seen all the rumblings about aerodynamics, gunlines, kitbashed appearance, crimes against humanity and much more. I'm sure I'll get a ton of comments here- but I stand by my arguement: this model is ideal in every way for what it's supposed to represent.

If you consider what it'sintended to be; there's no better model, design or idea to convey the reality that a metric asston of blood-hungry Marines are about to drop all over you and your pathetic selves.

What other way to scream across the battlefield- "I'm coming to delimb you, eat you for breakfast and wipe my face with your hair" than a big, nasty, blunt, MEAN looking machine?

What, you want a prettified thing from design school?

What is wrong with advertising what it does?

It delivers death. Thus, it is not "pretty". It's beautiful in its brutality, as it should be.

I'd take it in a heartbeat, if 1- I had an army and 2- the army I intend to take would allow me to do so.

I live for this kind of model- I love the big plain surfaces, the huge bay and the blunt ends. I can see it causing all kinds of damage to my wallet.

Playing BA? Use this baby to your advantage. You'll be surprised what kinds of tactics you can pull off just based on a model's appearance.

A piece of background- My first army (oh, about 17 years ago) was a huge, UGLY Ork army. I made it ugly -really ugly- I didn't want anyone stealing my dudes, and I really got the concept that these were "monsters"; and so they shouldn't look good. I came up with some of the dirt nastiest color schemes ever invented and enjoyed people throwing up all over my horrid models.

I can totally see this becoming a model for people like me- people that understand the grotesque has a place in this world and know how to use it as an advantage and tool in the psychology of table top games.

Don't believe me? Paint this mother up in purple, yellow and lime green. Plunk it on the table, and watch your opponent totally shift his mental game. It's especially effective against guys that don't think you play "competitively enough" - an ugly scheme absolutely and undeniably alters their opinion of you and your ability.

I don't see anyone really doing that, but it's something to consider- that concept, color and competence often have some interrelated impressions on your opponent and you can totally rug jerk the jackhole (or gentleman) across from you if you play your cards right.

The only thing I really don't understand about the model is completely fluffy. Why on earth would BA, with a bajillion jetpacks, need a friggin transport? Isn't 24" of killy swords enough? What in Mesty's name do they need MORE protection for?

Someone explain that- I'm busy drooling.

Be Well,



  1. I for one cannot decide if I like this model or not. While the front bears some resemblance to the front of a Thunderhawk, it does not look like a Space Marine vehicle to me.

    It could be because of all the cool conversions I have already seen for the Stormraven that just put this one to shame.

    Who knows, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  2. Intellectually, I understand your point of view.

    However, I see it, and I think "instant death" and all the other "it'd look better if" stuff goes out the window.

    Maybe you can work up an awesome conversion to share... I'd be interested in seeing your treatment of it.

  3. I know jack about Warhammer, but that's a mean, ugly looking drop ship and I like it. When I'm surfing, I always love it when some guys paddles out on some busted ass board and proceeds to carve. It's like saying, "My gear is ugly and used up, but I'm still better than you."

    Cool model!

  4. I guess my reaction to the raven is not one of "ooo ugly" but just laughing out loud. Every time I see it I can't help having the music from the free tank game for the wii go through my head- it's just too stubby and cute to make me take it seriously. Where you see something ugly and death bringing I see a cartoonish stubby little plane-that-could that would perhaps be best as an anthropomorphic cartoon character.

    Still, even saying that I find myself attracted to the model. I just can't stop looking at it, which is more than I can say for some others.

  5. I would love to convert one, but since I don't play a BA army, I do not think I ever would and I already have too many projects already on the plate.

    Here is one the conversions I have seen that I like:

  6. Personally, I like it. BA's are a blunt force type army and this is a blunt force type of transport. Is it pretty? Hell no. But if you want pretty vehicles play Eldar.

  7. I'm betting that a lot of players would instinctively focus all their heavy fire on that thing the instant it entered the battlefield. Me, not too fond of that one, I must say. The conversion Slipwing posted in his comment looks better though.

  8. My only problem with this model is the "Why this turret is here" turret ... it has Star Wars written all over!! But I kinda like it too!

  9. I like it... glad I'm not the only one lolz