The Last One

For the most part, I try to be a relaxed and laid back person. I'm not a "princess" by any real stretch of the definition, and I laugh at fart jokes just as easily as the dudes around me.

I tend to get pretty fussy about birthdays. Mine in particular. I would love a giant surprise party, or a big day of being spoiled rotten with "all the things". I also love throwing birthday parties. I think a birthday is a reason to celebrate and adore planning. Whether it's cake and ice cream or LAN parties or strippers and booze, I want your celebration to be perfect for you. I love going all out and seeing smiles on my friends and family's faces on their special day. Unfortunately, most people I love are not real fond of big birthday things.

I am very easygoing about most other holidays. I have never been one of those 'decorate for every holiday' people. I try to find meaning in the everyday,but I still value certain special days. For the past few years, Mother's Day hasn't been that huge a production at our house. We've been busy growing our kids and our business, and time for celebrations (big or small) has not been our priority.

This year, our family has really felt those choices in stresses and pressures, and the need for employees and TIME AWAY from the store has been huge. We were all kind of coming apart at the seams, some more than others. We started spending more time together as a family, and as we did so, I started to become fully cognizant of the face that my kids are growing up.

My son is 18, and while he may not be ready to move out right this minute, that time isn't too far off. I rarely get maudlin, but I'm very aware that I may not have another Mother's Day with both my kids at home, and this might be the last one.

I'm taking just a little time to acknowledge that being a mom has been important to me, and I've done the best I can. Family *IS* a priority to me, and I'm working hard to be an awesome inspiration and model to these wonderful people I've been given the privileged to raise. I've got a lot more work to do, but thinking about this time ending has me a little rough around the edges.

TheBoy, Waylon, TheGirl and TheDude 

It's not quite over yet. I still have some awesome left in me. TheBoy, TheGirl and TheDude enjoyed going to the Hed2Hed Show a few weeks ago. I took my kids to a bar to see a metal show with their dad, for their dad's birthday. I was there for my son's first pit. I watched and laughed as he was offered a shot by the Jaeger Girls. I watched my daughter rock out, banging her fool head off. I saw both my kids look stunned at my reaction to American Head Charge (I think they thought I was going to humor TheDude. Hellz no, I wanted to see "Martin Cock" and "Mr. H.C. Banks III").

I have a few more surprises and a little more time with them- and even if it is "the last one", I'm going to enjoy this Mother's Day.

Interview for HOP-TheDude

I wrote a series of articles about designing better games for House of Paincakes over the past 2 months or so. While I was working on the process and developing material for the series, I conducted a good number of interviews with various people across the internet, as well as some real life folks.

This interview just sort of "happened to me". I was actually enjoying a nice conversation with my spouse when the topic drifted to gaming; so why not throw the interview into the conversation while I was at it?

It's always fun talking to him about games. He's a smart guy and listens to OTHER PEOPLE pretty well. And he looks great in a tie.

The picture really doesn't convey how great this looks in person. 

[40K] Merry Christmas to Me!

Just one of my presents this year:

TheDude sure does love me something fierce. I think I'll keep him.

[Business] Today's Adventure

See this guy? He's all alone. He's doing it wrong. 

Today's brief discourse will be on the need for backup of some sort. 

While what TheDude and I have is pretty unusual, most of the FLGS folks I know have some sort of help. They have learned that they don't know and can't do everything, and have hired out for the things they just can't do themselves. 

It might be taxes, or web design, writing a policy manual or cleaning the floors; sometimes you need someone else to do the work. 

Other times, you need someone who shares your vision and understands what you are all about. There are times when you need someone to listen to the static in your head and help decipher it into reality. 

TheDude and I went on a little adventure today. Honestly, either one of us could have gone alone- there was no need for both of us to be involved. We trust each other and feel good about the decisions we make as a rule. But we voted to go together "just in case" something came up that we wanted the other around to help 'figure out our brain'. 

When something is bothering me or I can't figure it out, I tend to be quiet and let TheDude talk. Funny thing is, given the chance, the man can talk circles around me. So usually, while he is blabbering away, I'm figuring out whatever has me twisted. 

Today, he saw me mulling something over in my head, and asked me about it.  As I was telling him what my concern was, he blerted out the same thing, and we sort of chuckled. 

We left our adventure, and went on our merry way,  feeling somewhat better that we had a line on each other's  thoughts and we could count on each other. 

Massive Vocabulary Fail

TheDude and I recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

Throughout our marriage, I've been the "wordy" one, and TheDude has been the one that showed how he felt through actions. Well, sort of. He's not so good at the romantic stuff, as a rule.

He has moments of brilliance, where his gifts, thoughtfulness and consideration completely blow me away. He doesn't do it often, but when he does, the results are amazing. He has had moments that have brought me to tears, completely surprised me, and just a few moments that have made me cry.

Today, he reached a new level.

This is a custom piece of jewelry that he had commissioned for me as a gift for our anniversary. It's based off a tattoo he designed, representative of our family. Here's the original design.

The angel represents me- TheDude has called me his angel for many years. The star is our son, who was called "Little Star" as a baby. The pumpkin is our daughter, who TheDude has called "pumpkin" she was tiny. That sack of money is "Cash", our dog.

The design was modified a little bit, some at my request, and some at his. He went to the jeweler that designed our wedding rings, and sat down to work out what would become the best present I've ever gotten.

I've very rarely been speechless before.

I am today.

Twenty Years

This is one of my favorite pictures of us... from a friend's wedding, 20 years ago. It was a great day. 

The following are from ours... an even better day- 20 years ago today. 

That YSL suit still gets me. I adore this picture of you.

My grandfather smelled great. He told me that you had no idea how lucky you were. 

I still wonder if the same isn't true for me. I sure feel lucky.

I forgot how much I smiled that day. I need to do it more. 

Starting our marriage out laughing... I love laughing with you.

I hope to look at you that way  for as long as I live. 

happy 20th anniversary.

[Weekly Whimsy] For Ron, The Dude, and The Rest of You

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Forfeiting fidelity to family (for a moment) in favor of fans and far-fetched dreams.] 

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you - Bryan Adams, Everything I Do, I Do It For You
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As most of you know, Ron put FTW in hiatus earlier this week. Many tributes and accolades have been made, many thanks have been said, and many comments posted about the great wealth Ron bestowed to the wargaming community. A great number of wiser, more eloquent and better spoken friends and fans have had deep words of respect and admiration for a man who put a heartbreaking amount of work into making our gaming lives all the better.

Ron has spoken very passionately and honestly about his rationale for hanging up the ropes, and trying something different. It's honestly quite refreshing to see a man value his family this much and actually put words to action and do something to better his family situation, rather than just pay lip service to it.

[40K] The Dude and The doods

All right guys- I know I groaned about how I didn't have even a SINGLE dude of my own to paint for a bit. I've been pretty plain that I was hoping for An Emperor's Champion and possibly a Battleforce box for Christmas for a while. My personal take on the whole "build an army" thing was to do it low & slow- get my feet wet a little and as I get more figs, THEN get into 40K full scale again.

My husband, the AllAwesomeguy, TheDude; decided he knew better. He decided I needed to "sink or swim" and guys, you will be STUNNED at what he got me for Christmas!

Not just a battle box. Not just guys from AoBR. No- he went ALL OUT. He is friends with a guy who was parting ways with his army and the two cut a deal. I wound up with An Army Transport: Battalion AND A Motor Pool bag- each full of foam and the makings of at least 2 ARMIES inside them. Plus, Codexes, rule books and templates. I got it all!

here's the overview:

Troops: close to 100 Space Marines, over 20 Scouts (probably closer to 30).
Elites: Well over 25 Terminators. 6 Dreads.
Fast Attack: 4 LandSpeeders, 3 Bikes and an Attack Bike.
Heavy Support? Land Raider, Predator, and Whirlwind. Plus a Rhino, just for good measure.

That's just a SUMMARY of what he got me. There's so much more in there, it's unreal. Every single thing in the cases are decked out with very cool weapons, too.  (MISSILES! At least 5 Typhoon Missile launchers! Flamers, Meltas, TLLC- there's a little bit of everything in there.) I was unashamedly squealing like a girl when I opened up those bags and saw what was inside. The best part? Catch this:

He was telling anyone who would listen: "I know I have a good wife- she's excited to get Space Marines for Christmas".

I think I'm gonna keep him!

Of course, this collection of doods is going to need a little thinking. The previous owner of this pile of awesome was very obviously a Space Wolves player. There's a Grimnar, Ragnar,  an Iron Priest, 9 Wolves, and one of the Dreads is a metal Bjorn the Fell Handed model, plus other assorted Wolf Priests and so on. The non-specific models are painted as a SW army,  which is ok for now.

The question becomes- do I throw the non-specific guys in the "bug juice" (Mean/Simple Green) to turn them into BT, or do I try them out and see if I like them? A little of both?

To be truly fair, I don't hate the idea of Space Wolves, but for the most part, I don't like the models. I just don't find them super attractive. From what I understand, the playstyle is pretty close to the "brick" standard I try to keep myself to. Of course, the only way to find out is to play them.

Now, just to make a list....

[Blogging] Music

Over my head, I hear it loud and clear
Music, music, over my head, I hear music- King's X, Over My Head
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My recent post asking for advice on a gift of music for TheDude has pushed me to post something I've had in the "rumination stage' for well over a month; a post about music.

I've meant to talk about the sounds in my head (no, I'm not crazy!) as well as tell you that every lyric, quote and riff I put on here is for a reason. I try to create a mood, evoke an emotional response, or offer something relevant to the content of the post when I put quotes up- and I hope you enjoy.

The fact that talking about music inspired TheDude to comment on my blog for the very first time does have a little to do with this decision, but not a huge amount. [Hey you!]

When talking about music, it's important to note that TheDude & I have some pretty different tastes. I swear, that man loves anything loud, crass, tasteless and offensive- just because it is all of those things. In addition to loving punk and metal (which are generally loud, rude, crass, offensive and/or tasteless), he's a HUGE GWAR and ICP fan and searches out the Psychopathic Records stuff on a fairly regular basis. And, as Christian can attest- his biggest "failing" (at least in my book) - he loves DEVO. (Someone take pity on me, please. It's terrible.)

He's also something of an amateur rock historian, so he has some very strong roots in old school stuff. One of his favorite "joke Jeopardy" categories is "musical trivia only I know for $800, Alex". The man is amazing when it comes to knowing who played in what band when and where they went after that. He knows the names of SESSION players.(For real- who does that?)

Our first date involved music very prominently. We went to all three of the local CD vendors- a pretty standard afternoon for the two of us. He wound up buying several CDs (again, pretty standard-he'd often drop half his paycheck at the CD shop). One of them was 247 Spyz Gumbo Millenium. He read the liner notes while we ate, in a desperate attempt to figure out how to talk to me (his best friend).

For a while early in our dating/marriage history, we didn't go on dates, we went to concerts. For my high school graduation present, we went to Queensrych, with Suicidal Tendencies opening (THAT was a crazy show). My earliest "scrapbooks" were ticket stubs from all the shows we saw.

We took TheBoy to see Weird Al as his first concert. His second? Judas Priest and Anthrax with the classic lineups as a Boy/Dad only affair. The kid was 10, 11 and we made sure he was exposed to Halford.

When we got a dog, we decided to name him after someone or something musical, and among the possible names were Joey, Mastadon and Cash. We named our dog after The Man In Black, folks.

I am still thinking of what to get The Dude for Christmas, as he's dang near IMPOSSIBLE to shop for anymore. Any time I think I have an idea, he's already scored whatever I wanted to get him. So I'm thinking music. I know he likes it, and I know what he does (and doesn't) have very well.

[Blogging][40K] Blogroll Finds!

I told you my schedule was screwy! I should be back to normal very very soon- I hope Sunday will get me back on track.

I will soon be changing my posting schedule just a little due to a change in my gaming schedule. I have to mentally map that out but I'll keep you in the loop.

I went on a link-clicking expedition and have found a whole bunch of awesome stuff to check out, if not devour whole cloth. I have to say I have a pretty big blogroll, but I'm always willing to grow it if I find good writing and interesting material.

This week, I found 3 separate Black Templar resources, so I am majorly stoked. This  and this are seriously fantastic and I'm thrilled to read them until my eyes bleed.  I've finally decided on which figures/slots I want to buy so I can paint a small force, and get myself moving in a forward direction. I HOPE I'll have dudes after Christmas.

Speaking of dudes, I am straight out of ideas on what to get TheDude for Christmas. He has access to (and ability to buy) pretty much any gaming product he wants. I'm thinking of music, his other major love. We're a little behind Dethtron in how much we own, but we have a massive music collection and he's always on the lookout for new additions to the family. He'll listen to darn near anything, but he's specifically into metal & punk.

Please help a lady out- send me some of your favorite stuff or brand new finds. I don't want to give a lame gift...