[Weekly Whimsy] Romance

[Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Accentuating ardor, amour, admiration and affairs; regaling relevant rules for relations.] 

“O for the gentleness of old Romance, the simple planning of a minstrel's song!”   John Keats

Got a special someone? Lady Friend? Dr. Girlfriend? She Who Must Be Obeyed? Wife? Man? Sexy Thing? Dude? Husband? 

If so, no doubt you've noticed that Valentine's Day is quickly arriving. I've heard countless times from many of my male gaming friends that Valentine's Day gives them something of a complex- they simply have no idea “what to do”. I thought I'd toss you guys a bone and help you out. 

Yes, I know I'm a little late on the scene. I probably should have followed my own, best advice when it comes to wooing;

1- Do a little planning. 

For us gamers, being prepared is either second nature, or a terrible burden. I know countless guys that come to game ill-prepared (no dice, paper, pencils, nothing). For them, thinking ahead is an actual chore. Then there's those of us who are just a little crazy about being ready for anything. I'm personally guilty of having no less than 3 pens at any time and I usually have a pad of paper, too. For me, being prepared is second nature to who I am. 

Regardless, when it comes to romance, planning ahead is essential. Don't wait until the last minute- or you'll end up giving wilted, terrible flowers from a gas station, bad lingerie from Kmart, or Little Debbie's Valentine Cakes. (Sometimes those terrible gifts can turn into a goofy tradition- but be aware at least some frustration will come of it before your Sweetie thinks it's “sweet”.)

What kinds of planning has a LOT to do with your special friend, and almost nothing to do with “what the media says”. Here's an example:

If your Significant Other adores Motocross, getting her a hearts & flowers gram is not going to be as effective as getting tickets to the nearest dirt track show. If he likes SCA and RenFaire stuff, he'll most likely be far more tickled with a trip to Medieval Times than going to see the latest Jet Li movie.

Having tickets to these sorts of things takes thinking weeks (if not MONTHS) in advance. Many of these sorts of adventures involve travel. That can include hotel stays, dinner out, and distractions other than the intended event. Coordinating all of the said itinerary ahead of schedule with consideration to your partner's tastes can turn you into a hero overnight. But all of those ideas need at least an element of 

2- Know Your Partner's Interests- This, in a nutshell, is: PAY ATTENTION. 

You know what synergies work best in your armies, right? The same should be said for your romantic endeavors. Know what works, and use it to your advantage. 

I'm a pretty simple girl. I like good food, games, books, miniatures and purses. I'm also very fond of surprises. I'm known to enjoy wrestling, football, basketball and goofy action movies. A quick surprise date to see a movie like “Red” and going out to have dinner at a place I haven't tried before is going to score TheDude major points with me. Knowing what makes your partner smile is a key element to romancing and wooing said person. 

Giving a gift (or expressing your affection in a way) that's meant to show you understand her, and care about what she likes is golden. Guys like it too- nothing's worse than a bad golf tie when he hates 'that game with the crooked sticks'. Give him a StormRaven, a new Citadel Paint set, or maybe a Battle Foam bag instead.

This third pointer is really meant for the guys, but girls can learn at least a little something, too.

3- Make your partner feel valued. 

 

This is a bit tough to explain, but it's kind of like showcasing your favorite IC or HQ on your blog for all their massive exploits. You want to offer public validation and recognition for that special someone in your life so they're seen for how truly awesome they are. 

This is really about helping a girl feel like a princess in a fairy tale- making a special impression with a truly grand gesture. Guys like to feel like rock stars, with tons of adoring fans and massive adulation. 

If you send flowers (and you should know IF she likes them and what kind), do it EARLY in the week, and send them to her work. She'll get the thrill of seeing a delivery just for her, she gets to brag on you all week, and get admiring glances from the other gals at work. It's a win-win. 

Tell him how much you appreciate him- in writing, through music, with a tattoo or writing a check to help fund his dream. Do it in a big way, so that he knows how much you treasure what he does for you, and he can gloat to the other guys how he has “the best partner in the universe”. It's a win-win.

Doing just a little work will pay off big in the long run. Just like play testing or honing a list (and subsequently stomping face), the effort is completely worth the results when your loved one swoons at your romantic gestures. 

Being “romantic”, much like winning against a tough competitor, is not simple- but it's easily accomplished with preparation and planning. 

Be Well (and be prepared), 

'Lo 

[WOD] Austin By Night- Session 9 as Eile

The fixture in the city of lust
What the hell's your name?
What's your pleasure and what's your pain?
Do you dream too much?-   Green Day, Homecoming   [Part 1: The death of St. Jimmy]


Somebody get me out of here
Get me the fuck right out of here- Green Day, Homecoming    [Part 2: East 12th St.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Persona vitae of the scenes:
Eile- Changeling (Myself)
Bruce- Hunter (M)
TK- Geist (E)
New Character- Changeling (B.B.) [Ogre seeming, Gargantuan kith]
Raaf -Werewolf (B)
Avere- Changeling (K)

Last session ended with Eile in the paddy wagon along with her boyfriend (TK), her roommate (Bruce) and her potential kidnapper [new player, character name not revealed at this time] due to the serepticious suggestion made by Coyotoe Joe to the police.

Eile quickly deduces the new Changeling was under the mental influence of an Other (Gentry) and realizes he's absolutely fresh out of Arcadia, the place she's been trying to ignore for over a year now. She quietly advises the Ogre not to say anything while the other two men are talking to each other. She now has a way to influence each of them in some way, and she hopes, a way to get out of the mess as well.

They are taken off the paddy wagon and taken aside one by one. Eile is offered the following, after being read her Miranda rights- twice:

Look, we just want to know what happened. Please answer a few questions and if everything checks out, you'll be free to go.

Eile gently declines to speak, instead pointing, nodding and gesturing during the intial processing. She's put into an interview room and waits a while. Shortly after, Raaf walks in. He begins asking her questions, and she continues her silence.

[Completely unknown to me, at least one other player did the EXACT SAME THING.]

Raaf is more than a little frustrated and decides to try to find a way to make Eile look guilty for various crimes- including arson, embezzelment, insurance fraud and murder. Eile is more than a little amused by all this- with the exception of murder, she actually accomplished or contemplated each of those crimes in recent memory. [Most of them in backstory.]

Raaf finally brings out his big guns- he shows some pictures of murder victims, one of which is Eile's neighbor and Eile believes [right or wrong I don't know], a regular customer. Eile is offended by the idea of a source of tips drying up, and is mystified at Raaf's thinking that she'd destroy a steady revenue source. She absolutely fails a willpower check to stay quiet [Hey, I'm playing her, and my name IS Loquacious] and begins discussing the situation. Raaf has offended her, and he is a member of David's family. Eile has absolutely no respect for David whatsoever, and that disrespect bleeds over to Raaf. The interview quickly turns into Eile using every question as a chance to mock Raaf in some way (some much more obvious than others) while still maintaining as much of the truth as possible without explaining much at all.

Raaf doesn't believe anything she's saying, and her taunting only causes him to be even more hostile to her. He takes her to a holding cell, where Bruce and the New Changeling are already being held. She finds out that the Ogre listened to and followed her instructions, and that Bruce is being coached on what to say. The things that Bruce is being encouraged to say could easily fit with Eile being framed, and the Gargantuan has said nothing. Eile tries to come up with a plan, but realizes she has liabilities when she needs serious advantages. She makes an offhand remark that leads Bruce to believe she's strictly using TK and doesn't have any feelings for him, as well as dismisses the severity of the situation. All the while, New Guy is quietly wondering if Bruce has to go and if the cuffs can or should be broken. [Eile says no to both -at least for now.] They wait a while as TK is being questioned.

Eile asks to talk to Raaf again, and tries to imply that everything he's said about her is right. Eile's approach is rough, overtly direct, and very specific in details in regards to some aspects of her potential tale. Raaf doesn't seem to take that bait either, and Eile goes back to the cell.

[Unknown to Eile, while she is talking to Bruce, the new guy and Raaf, TK is off spilling his guts to the police about everything that happened- dragon and all.]

TK is brought into the holding cell area, and New Guy is taken back out.  There's a little more conversation. Eile spends some time fishing for information, and then asks if TK had anything to do with the murders. [Yes, she's got balls of steel.] He of course denies it, but Eile sees Bruce's reaction and knows the effect she was after has been achieved.

A little while later, Raaf comes down and wants to talk to Eile. He pulls her aside and tells her that the New Guy needs her  - for two specific things. He needs her to give him permission to speak, and he needs Eile to give him a name. Eile asks if she cann talk to him, and she goes to the other worm.

Eiele comes to the door and sees Avere in a chair facing the back of the room. The big guy is facing her, and Eile hesitates at the doorway for a long moment as she debates dealing with Avere.[There's a very cool, hard to describe, completely non-verbal moment between Eile and the New Changeling here while Eile debates.]  She finally enters, and before she has a moment to sit or speak to the new Changeling, Avere chimes in, demanding that Eile give him permission to speak.

Eile asks the Ogre if he wants to speak, and he indicates through writing that it's Avere that wants him to be able to talk. Another question and answer reveals that New Guy only wants to talk if Eile wants him to. Avere badgers away at Eile, trying to insist that he be allowed to speak for himself. Eile tells Avere very seriously- "I don't have to do anything". Avere isn't phased, she declares that it's the "right thing to do". Avere then goes on, in her somewhat childish and naive way, talking about the "dream out there" (meaning outside of jail) and how the new guy won't be able to function if he can't talk. Eile snaps- "I don't dream, and I don't want to; if it means I turn out like that" [implying Avere]. Another comment makes it obvious- the new Changeling WON'T speak until Eile releases him from his prohibition, and only if she wants him to. Eile now knows she has control over his entire world, and is shaken to her core, flashing back to moments in Arcadia. Eile debates and considers what to do, and nearly loses clarity again.

[An important note on the sequence of events and what Eile considered.

Eile was told that someone needed her- in a way that offered her power and control. For Eile, this was a huge and scary responsibility. She wasn't sure how to handle it or how to react. She arrives to find Avere, who she doesn't like or trust, "meddling" in her private domain. [Having one is rare enough for Eile- this is probably the first time she is in control of anything since her escape from the Hedge.] She then finds out that the new Changeling is literally hers to control; which is heady and horrifying. She also learns that Avere has obvious and easily manipulated desires, which flash across Eile's mental control panel in bright displays.Eile's greed and hope for something to call her own are in a vicious duel for Eile's heart as she considers. Eile is literally forced to chose between something -anything- to have as her own and refusing to be like the Fae.]

Eile releases the new fellow, and the two talk for a few moments. In this discussion, names and their power are discussed, as well as the fact that Eile's name is not of her choosing. [This is an important clue for a later scene I want to do] New Changeling wants a name- any name; just not the one he had before he was Taken. Eile admits he reminds her of someone, and he allows her to call him by the name of the person in question. Thus, Terrance is born.

The two are sent back to the holding cell for a while, and then later released for good.

This ends the night for the most part.Other things happened outside of my scenes, but I don't really know anything about them.

[Weekly Whimsy] International Suit Up Day (Part 2)

Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Discussing delivery of the debonaire, dissing the douche that doesn't dress, diving into the depths of the dearth and death of determination, derring do, and drive.

[Love my weekly word-nerd fit. On to today's topic!]

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man- ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man

Earlier this week, Dave over at CrewShakenNotStirred talked about International Suit Up Day. He approached the subject from a lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek. His post was well received and he was able to get a group of folks to admit their foibles as former slobs.

His closing statement was meant as a rally cry, a shot of morale- "Suit Up. Score Chicks. Win Games!"

The "Suit Up" portion of his was clear in point and purpose. I love the sentiment and would like to see more of my local crew take it to heart. Dave did a great illustration on the benefits of better grooming, and his bumbler-turned-Barney was easy to identify and commisserate with in retrospective amusement.

It was the brandishment to "Score Chicks" that was slightly lacking, and I'd like to step up to the challenge. While Dave was lighthearted and jovial in his delivery, my tone will be a bit more sisterly, wise, and slightly serious. A strong nod to Chumby's advice is needed here- "Get A Job" and "Hit The Gym" are not bad words of wisdom at all; definitely worthy of attention.

Dave and Chumby don't do enough for their fellow dudes. They approach the subject, and make pointed comments in the general area, but miss the heart of the matter. So I propose a primer- primarily from the perspective of the pursued. So as a favor to my comrades in dice, I offer:

The Do's and Don'ts of Dudes

Do- Suit Up. Dave is right- an improved appearance and the following self confidence he discusses makes a world of difference in the way a dude is perceived by the world. Self confidence and all it encompasses can make improvements to the general nature of the dude in question, benefiting him in a multitude of ways.

Do- Get Out of the House. Dave suggests getting off the internet and interacting with your pals at the pub, watching telly and drinking brews. Certainly a social life with the guys is a step in the right direction. But if it's finding a chick you seek, hanging with your friends won't get you very far. You need to

Go Where The Girls Are

Where is this magical land of females? Is there some hidden door you have to make a 5+ roll to find? Does it smell funny there?

Amazing thing to hear, but girls are people too. They have interests, hobbies, passions and pursuits just as well as the guys. As I mentioned in my "On Shoes" post, it doesn't hurt at all to learn about the very things that ladies enjoy.

Unfortunately, every girl is different. The more you know the girl in question, the more you can personalize the conversation- and the better off you'll do with said lady. However, there are some things that are somewhat safe- much like sports, cars and guns for guys; there are a few things you can assume are good topics of discussion with the female kind.

These topics include (but aren't limited to) dancing, cooking, creative crafting, home decor and furnishings, movies & television, popular books, and music.

If you're hoping to find a specific kind of girl, you're in luck. Get involved in a group where a girl of that kind is likely to congregate, and you'll probably have some luck. Very importantly, Geeky girls are becoming less of a rare breed and are easily found at anime clubs, libraries, drama groups, Mystery Theater troups,  and even the occasional game store.

Going to and getting involved in activities outside of the pub and the local 40K night can be a good way to meet a girl.

Once you find a girl worth your time and attention, there's a VERY important point you need to heed.

DON'T treat her like prey. Girls, as delicious as they are, don't like being treated like they are dinner (at least not until much later). Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to her, but not so much that she can obviously feel that she is your sole focus. I'm sure you've all witnessed the guy going in for the kill- zooming in on the "target" to the oblivion of the rest of the room, only to be batted down.

Nine times out of ten, it has nothing to do with what he said. It's almost always about HOW he said it. If he said it while crowding her personal space, while stepping on people behind him because he was so focused on her he didn't see them, or while blocking her from an exit;  he's out of luck.

Now you have a girl who you'd like to pay attention to, and she hasn't rejected you. There's just one more important thing to know, and the rest should work itself out.

DO Have Ambition. Have something concrete you want to do and have an action plan of how you want to do it. This is somewhat an offshoot of the "Suit Up" lesson earlier- self confidence will certainly assist you in this regard; but having something- ANYTHING you want to do and are passionate about is an absolute must.

I'll be honest, even a guy living at home with mom/parents may not be an automatic "no" if he's in med school or taking care of a sick family member. A guy with a steady but dead end job isn't out of the running if he's taking night classes, teaching himself a language or skill, or knows that in X years he's going to explore a challenging area of study, travel or have accomplished something noteworthy. A dude with ambition is well worth a woman's time, and definitely at an advantage over the guy who hasn't yet learned to "Suit Up".

One last don't for you, fellows:


DON'T lie or cheat. Simply not cool and disrespects all that work you did to improve yourself over the slacker you might previously have been, or are competing against.

While this is not a complete collection, it's a stepping stone to superior situations with the other sex. I hope you've enjoyed it, and I'll have something fun for you next week.