Monday, August 15, 2011

[RPG] Where Is Your Safe Place?

This is a rumination borne of several recent posts and (for me) almost-posts.

Do you ever have those? Those situations where you want to post something, but hold off for whatever reason? You know, the "close call"?

I have had a couple in the past few days. I know I'm not the only one- at least one or two of my real life friends have blogs, and I know they have restrained themselves from writing what's "really going on" for fear of hurt feelings or other situations like that.

I'm personally struggling with this sort of situation. I've always intended my blog to be a way to connect with the gaming community, and I work hard to avoid excluding someone because of that. But I also have a strong sense of ownership- it's MY blog, and I'll talk about what *I* want to. If someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it.

(At least, that's what my 10 year old self argues any time I want to post something that might not go over well.)

That sort of attitude doesn't solve the problem, but it certainly gives you a lot of freedom.

I have to ask myself if I WANT freedom, or if I want the community I am working so hard to build. If my answer is community, then certain things I might post will just not go up. As I said, I'm not the only one with these feelings.

GMs probably experience a little of this- I can imagine it can be hard to dissect a game gone awry online  if any of their players read blogs. It can be tough to talk about preparations, villains, problems or anything "negative" if your players blog or read them frequently.

If you can't say the things that are on your mind because you're worried about upsetting someone, where do you turn? Where do you let off your steam, and let out your frustrations?

What is your safe place?


  1. To hell with it. Say what you want. If someones feelings get hurt. Hand 'em a kleenex and tell 'em to dry their eyes.

  2. I think that the problem is that it can be seen as passive-aggressive - like complaining about something on Facebook before you talk to the actual person about it.

    If it's some kind of interpersonal thing with someone you know and like, deal with it with them first, post about it afterwards. Plus, then you have the resolution to post about too, and people can still share their similar stories to compare/contrast.

  3. I get a lot out that I want to say most of the time, but I certainly have to change the way I approach it or say it. Half of getting what you want out without offending others is tact in my opinion.

    The stuff that just can't be said in any manner; one of two things will happen with me.

    One, I end up saying it anyway without realizing it was offensive/disturbing (I'm getting better at not doing this.)

    Two, I just let it go. Everyone says you can either bottle up what's inside or release it in some haphazard fashion. Another option is just to let go. Obviously there are instances I can think of where this isn't possible, but for me a majority of the time it is.

    Very Zen.
    /peace sign =P