Inspired in part by Christian's post, "I Need To Recruit These People", I started thinking about the social aspect of games. I was really struck by certain facts: I'm not actively in an RPG at the moment, and it's a pretty deliberate choice.
I want to have a good time when I play a game- and I want a truly social experience. I've discovered that there are a lot of people I want to TALK to, but not near as many that I want to game with. I deliberately try to play with people that have an idea of what "cinematic" and "thematic" visions are, and aren't afraid to share their creative genius (but do so without hogging the spotlight). I try to play with people that have some manners, respect for others, and a sense of irreverent frivolity as much as an ability to carry a serious scene.
There are some people who have all these abilities in spades, but I don't play with them. A good example: The Dude. He's a brilliant roleplayer, fantastic and dynamic, understands a meaty plothook as well as a goofy spinoff or tangent, and can pull heady sexuality, morbid or terrifying equally well. I'd forgotten until we played in TheJoe's HS6E together how hard it is for me to game with him. I find myself falling into a "follower" position very quickly and easily, because I'm generally his supporter in real life- it's just easy. I don't really LIKE this particular behavior and it's usually not appropriate for the character I am trying to play- and it's hard to admit that as much as I respect and admire him, I can't play with him and have a good time. I'm constantly battling myself- which I don't enjoy; even a little bit.
I was recently offered a chance to play in a different HS6E game, and I passed on it. Between logistics and knowing I'd be playing with TheDude, I knew it would be a struggle. I don't want to struggle with the real life aspects. I want any struggle I deal with to be game oriented.
I know who I'd like to play with, and I'll just wait until those opportunities are available, rather than playing "just because" and maybe not having a good time. Maybe a little selfish, but I'm tired of struggling.