Welcome to Weekly Whimsy! Discussing delivery of the debonaire, dissing the douche that doesn't dress, diving into the depths of the dearth and death of determination, derring do, and drive.
[Love my weekly word-nerd fit. On to today's topic!]
Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man- ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man
Earlier this week, Dave over at CrewShakenNotStirred talked about International Suit Up Day. He approached the subject from a lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek. His post was well received and he was able to get a group of folks to admit their foibles as former slobs.
His closing statement was meant as a rally cry, a shot of morale- "Suit Up. Score Chicks. Win Games!"
The "Suit Up" portion of his was clear in point and purpose. I love the sentiment and would like to see more of my local crew take it to heart. Dave did a great illustration on the benefits of better grooming, and his bumbler-turned-Barney was easy to identify and commisserate with in retrospective amusement.
It was the brandishment to "Score Chicks" that was slightly lacking, and I'd like to step up to the challenge. While Dave was lighthearted and jovial in his delivery, my tone will be a bit more sisterly, wise, and slightly serious. A strong nod to Chumby's advice is needed here- "Get A Job" and "Hit The Gym" are not bad words of wisdom at all; definitely worthy of attention.
Dave and Chumby don't do enough for their fellow dudes. They approach the subject, and make pointed comments in the general area, but miss the heart of the matter. So I propose a primer- primarily from the perspective of the pursued. So as a favor to my comrades in dice, I offer:
The Do's and Don'ts of Dudes
Do- Suit Up. Dave is right- an improved appearance and the following self confidence he discusses makes a world of difference in the way a dude is perceived by the world. Self confidence and all it encompasses can make improvements to the general nature of the dude in question, benefiting him in a multitude of ways.
Do- Get Out of the House. Dave suggests getting off the internet and interacting with your pals at the pub, watching telly and drinking brews. Certainly a social life with the guys is a step in the right direction. But if it's finding a chick you seek, hanging with your friends won't get you very far. You need to
Go Where The Girls Are
Where is this magical land of females? Is there some hidden door you have to make a 5+ roll to find? Does it smell funny there?
Amazing thing to hear, but girls are people too. They have interests, hobbies, passions and pursuits just as well as the guys. As I mentioned in my "On Shoes" post, it doesn't hurt at all to learn about the very things that ladies enjoy.
Unfortunately, every girl is different. The more you know the girl in question, the more you can personalize the conversation- and the better off you'll do with said lady. However, there are some things that are somewhat safe- much like sports, cars and guns for guys; there are a few things you can assume are good topics of discussion with the female kind.
These topics include (but aren't limited to) dancing, cooking, creative crafting, home decor and furnishings, movies & television, popular books, and music.
If you're hoping to find a specific kind of girl, you're in luck. Get involved in a group where a girl of that kind is likely to congregate, and you'll probably have some luck. Very importantly, Geeky girls are becoming less of a rare breed and are easily found at anime clubs, libraries, drama groups, Mystery Theater troups, and even the occasional game store.
Going to and getting involved in activities outside of the pub and the local 40K night can be a good way to meet a girl.
Once you find a girl worth your time and attention, there's a VERY important point you need to heed.
DON'T treat her like prey. Girls, as delicious as they are, don't like being treated like they are dinner (at least not until much later). Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to her, but not so much that she can obviously feel that she is your sole focus. I'm sure you've all witnessed the guy going in for the kill- zooming in on the "target" to the oblivion of the rest of the room, only to be batted down.
Nine times out of ten, it has nothing to do with what he said. It's almost always about HOW he said it. If he said it while crowding her personal space, while stepping on people behind him because he was so focused on her he didn't see them, or while blocking her from an exit; he's out of luck.
Now you have a girl who you'd like to pay attention to, and she hasn't rejected you. There's just one more important thing to know, and the rest should work itself out.
DO Have Ambition. Have something concrete you want to do and have an action plan of how you want to do it. This is somewhat an offshoot of the "Suit Up" lesson earlier- self confidence will certainly assist you in this regard; but having something- ANYTHING you want to do and are passionate about is an absolute must.
I'll be honest, even a guy living at home with mom/parents may not be an automatic "no" if he's in med school or taking care of a sick family member. A guy with a steady but dead end job isn't out of the running if he's taking night classes, teaching himself a language or skill, or knows that in X years he's going to explore a challenging area of study, travel or have accomplished something noteworthy. A dude with ambition is well worth a woman's time, and definitely at an advantage over the guy who hasn't yet learned to "Suit Up".
One last don't for you, fellows:
DON'T lie or cheat. Simply not cool and disrespects all that work you did to improve yourself over the slacker you might previously have been, or are competing against.
While this is not a complete collection, it's a stepping stone to superior situations with the other sex. I hope you've enjoyed it, and I'll have something fun for you next week.
So, what's the average CR for one of those... girls?
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, though, I've found that sloppy dressers are usually sloppy people, and vice versa. And that goes for both sexes.
Excelent! Something I completely missed in the article fantastically articulated here. Its a common sense thing at the end of the day in my opinion, coupled with respect. We live in an age of intelectual women -who more often than not are more competant than their male counterparts- and as such us gentlemen have to step it up a notch.
ReplyDeleteLoving it!
As a married person who is outgoing, I have a lot of conversation with single women who complain about how terrible most men are. My suggestion to them typically runs along the line of "go where the better men are going to be".
ReplyDeleteThese women go to bars and clubs and then complain that they only meet jerks and assholes. I say.... DUH! If you were hanging out somewhere that intelligent and sensitive men usually are, then maybe you would meet someone like that? I often use the example of hunting for cheetahs in Siberia.
So it cuts both ways, I think. Women are looking for men too. And both sides suck at it.
It is amusing from an anthropological standpoint.
Thanks for posting this, I'd missed Dave's original article but really enjoyed reading it. Lots of great extra advice here, Loquacious, no doubt you're providing an invaluable service for lots of dudes out there. That last point of yours I think is the most important, both with the ladies and in life in general. Be honest. If you're not going to respect someone enough to be honest with them, don't expect any in return.
ReplyDeleteAs for the matter of men's fashion, it's also important to make sure the suit fits well as a poorly fitted suit is uncomfortable and can also spoil the effect you're going for. I know for a long time I avoided wearing a suit whenever I could because I just didn't know how a suit is supposed to fit. It seems silly and obvious but I'm surprised how often I see a man wearing a suit that's not right for his body size or type.